They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
