Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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