Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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