love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
