it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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