There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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