we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
