I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Text me some of your sweat
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
