never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
