I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
