Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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