party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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