im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
