k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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