I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
