she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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