You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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