just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
