he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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