it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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