I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
