i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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