that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
