I wanna passion pit in your ass
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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