how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
