he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
