Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
