I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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