i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Randomize
