batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
