I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
