you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
