In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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