Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
