Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
