what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
