Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
