her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize