Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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