Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
