I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
