the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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