Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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