Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
