fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
