Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We need to get me chipped asap
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
