Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
