I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
