It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
