Pregnant stripper...not hot.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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