just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
