u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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