Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
