Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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