Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just had sex bonerless
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
