respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
