In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
