Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
