idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I am midnight drunk by noon
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
