i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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