so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
not ubering you a puppy
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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