And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
