I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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