just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
