you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize